Random thoughts....

Many thoughts have been on my mind lately. We are officially part of the SN list with our agency. We sent everything in back in August. So, now it's just another waiting game. We could be matched this week or we could be matched in four years. Only God knows. And I am so thankful that He knows. I do wonder. For so long I have prayed, okay begged, God to do this the way I've wanted it to happen. It has/is very hard to give it ALL to Him. I still yearn for an infant. I still would rather travel in the warmer weather vs. the colder times of the year. I know in the grand scheme of things it really wouldn't matter, but for some reason I have been trying to play boss with God. Sometimes these life lessons are hard. But I am very thankful that He allows us to learn them. I am thankful that He loves me so much that He puts up with all my silly selfishness. I know it's all going to be worth it in the end. But like most things, it's easier said than done. I know somewhere deep down, I meant well. I now focus on getting excited. The path of this journey has taken us places that I didn't think were at all possible once. Now, they are a reality & I want to savor every moment. So, for now I look forward to all the excitement that is yet to come. Who knows, maybe soon. To my sweet princess, who is hopefully getting ready to enjoy a brand new day - I love you. I always have & I always will. Sweet dreams. I love you, Mommy.