Jealous

First, I have a dear internet friend who just arrived in China. She is going to pick up her last daughter from that beautiful land. I'm already in tears & I've only seen one picture. And do you know what set me off? Seeing the glass from the airport. Pathetic, I know.
Second, I have an amazing friend from church who is just waiting on her TA to leave, which shouldn't be long now. I had the honor of going over to her home & "talking China" with her. She's a planner & likes to know what to expect - I SO LOVE THAT ABOUT HER. It reminds me of when I was getting ready to go. I did the same thing with another church family. It helps to seek advice from those who have gone before you.
But in doing so, it has made me sad. In two ways! I have that craving, that yearning to go back. I miss it so much my heart literally hurts at times. I'll smell something or hear something or see something that reminds me of Asia, specifically China. How can I miss a place so much that isn't my home? I'm not sure what God has in store, but I'm pretty sure He isn't done. (this is the statement that I hate putting "out there" because I am positive that both of the Grandmas reading this are getting nervous - but this is my journal & I can't forget the journey that I'm on for when I reach my destination.)
And then I look ahead & realize that there aren't that many people who have adopted from Ethiopia around here. There is the Young family which I am slowly getting to know & for that I am thankful. There is another family in our area that I know via this blog & some emails. I MUST make it a priority to become friends with them this year. If not for my sake, but for the sake of my daughter. I don't want her to feel isolated as she gets older. HG is blessed to have so many Chinese friends. I am praying that God will cover Ellie-Joy with the same blessings. I am getting anxious. I want to start packing for a trip that I don't even know when it's going to happen. I am already missing that country & I haven't even stepped foot onto African soil. I don't even know what ET will smell like, but I am jealous that I can't go on over there. I am jealous that some adoption programs are so much quicker. I haven't even been waiting a month yet, & already I am whinning. Because of some crazy governmental red tape, people who have seen & held their children haven't gone back yet & it's been MANY MONTHS. My daughter is sitting in a FULL care center just waiting for something or somebody that she isn't even aware of. Her life has totally changed in just the last couple of months. I hate that I am not there just to rock her & let her know it's all going to be okay. Why does this adoption stuff have to be so hard?
I know I am just rambling, but right now I am stuck between a rock & a hard place. I am here at home with my hubby & 4 blessings but yet, I want to be in ET & China. Once you are immersed into another culture, you can never let it go. It becomes a part of you.
Pray with us (my family & the many other families just waiting) that our children will come home soon.